Halloween Shmaaloween

Ahoy hoy!


It's Halloween. I didn't do anything special this year at all. In fact, I only dressed up last minute for a party on Saturday which is sooo unlike me. I am usually crazy about any excuse to dress up. To tell you the truth, this year I just couldn't handle the pressure I had created for myself with years of brilliant costumes. Instead, this year I paper clipped a piece of paper to a red shirt, put on a skirt, pulled my hair back and voila:

I am olive oyl.

Anyway, it was very freeing not having to worry. That said, I did end up dressing up today unexpectedly, let me explain.

I was called in for an audition for a sporty commercial today. For anyone that knows me that in itself is hilarious. I was to play a hockey goalie. (It is getting funnier and funnier...) the wardrobe specifications listed said that we were to wear hockey gear. I of course do not own any of this aforementioned "hockey gear" and neither does anyone that I know in Toronto. Or anyone in Winnipeg for that matter. I don't have a lot of sporty friends. Anyway... so I decided to take a trip to Value Village to see what I could find.

I found myself in the "jersey" aisle ( The shirt, not the place) and started to look through options. Most of them said "tim hortons" or something of the sort. I had no idea how to choose, so I decided to go with the colour that looked best on me out of the bunch and went with a blue one. I'm pretty sure it was a soccer jersey, but whatever, it looked pretty.

Next I found myself in the "sporting goods" section which consisted of three bagged items. One was 4 clear plastic things that I have absolutely no idea where they were meant to go on your body, and the other 3 looked like sports padding of some kind. I decided to buy all 3 and then figure them out after.

On my way back home I took the items out of the baggies and tried to figure them out. The first one I think might have actually been for hockey, and I figured by the shape went on your shoulder, however there was only one, so it was pretty useless. The second baggy had 2 plastic pads with velcro that after several attempts elsewhere I decided were shin pads. I'm pretty sure they were for rollerblading or something similar. The third baggie had 4 sets of pads (elbows and knees I discovered), and for a bonus, some of those little half-glove thingys. They were all red and blue with big letters on the front that said "fisher price."

I got home and put my outfit together. I put on a long sleeved black shirt under my slightly too tight-fitting blue soccer jersey, a pair of rain pants, with my shin gaurds and the fisher price knee pads and elbow pads. I fixed up my make-up and was on my way to the audition looking absolutely ridiculous.

I should mention here that earlier in the morning I actually googled "hockey goalie moves" on you tube so that in case they asked me to do any fake "goalie-ing" I would have a tiny idea of what to do. I was taught how to do a "butterfly guarding move" by some lovely young folks. I may have practiced a few moves in my living room. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xVr5ot6MIg

Anyway, as I got on the streetcar to the audition I felt quite ridiculous. This was definitely the first time I had ever worn sports equipment on public transit in my entire life. I looked around the streetcar, and in front of me was a man with a bullet wound in his face, a guy with a blonde long wig, and a baby dressed as a green monster. I realized that no one was looking at me at all. Oh Halloween, the one day when you can wear the craziest shit, and no one even notices.

The audition went ridiculously fast, as most of them do, and before I knew it I was out the door. Amazing how much work goes into such a teeny amount of time.

I ended up returning half of the equipment after the audition. Well exchanging, for a couple of cozy flannels. I kept the fisher price set though. Who knows when I'll need matching knee pads and elbow pads and half glove thingys, but whenever I do, I'll be stylin'!

Love and kindness all.