shhhhhhhh

I basically shushed a cell phone last night.

I was sitting and enjoying a fascinating production of a play (No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre) when a young woman sitting next me decided to pull out her phone. It was about 2/3 of the way through the show, and extremely climactic, and she decided that this was the exact moment that she needed to text someone. She proceeded to text for a few minutes, and then, to my complete horror, started to show her friend her texts, and whisper about the messages that she was receiving, and giggle together. 

I don't generally have the patience to deal with people talking during a Theatre production. I find it unbelievably distracting, and I know how much it can affect the actors on stage, but I usually don't aggressively say anything. Instead I try an extremely passive aggressive reaction and continue to glance at the culprits intermittently, hoping that they will notice I am distracted by them and shut up. Sometimes this works, but in this case, it did not. And for the first time, I decided that I needed to take more serious action. 

After my 6th or 7th glancing attempt, the young woman beside me went back to texting, and I couldn't help myself. I reached over and silently gestured at her phone to stop, while I disappointedly shook my head, and mouthed "no." I then mouthed "thank you" and very quickly turned back to the show. 

I will never forget the look on the young woman's face: it was complete shock, and almost confusion, mixed with a little bit of disdain, but it was as if she wasn't sure if she was allowed to be mad at me for what I had done. Her next reaction was quite interesting. She paused, then continued to finish her text (a small act of rebellion) and then proceeded to put her phone away for the remainder of the production! Hurray!! Success!!

Now this brings me to two very important issues: Phone etiquette and Theatre etiquette. 

Perhaps I should give my young friend the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she has never been to the Theatre before. I have heard actors tell so many horror stories about ridiculous reactions in the audience, I have a few myself, and I know it is not only young people who are the culprits. I have to say that I am now on the side of those ridiculous announcements the larger theatres play before a show. When the regional Theatres play the tapes that say "don't unwrap candies, please be quiet and turn off your cellphone" they are preventing (hopefully) these kind of distractions by informing the novices that these practices are prohibited. The reality is: we need to continue to educate people on how to view Theatre, as they cannot learn what is appropriate unless someone tells them. I had the benefit of growing up with Theatre, and learning at a young age how to act, but some people are not so fortunate. I would like to think common sense would come into play, but some people may not realize the affects they are having on others.

As for cellphone etiquette, based on the temptation for people to text and check messages constantly, I think there should be a cell-phone etiquette class built into the school system, or at least it should become part of a parental teaching regime, because it has become ridiculous! I am as guilty as many to the temptation of constant phone-checking, however, I would like to think that I know when it is appropriate and when it is not. 
I feel a rant coming on, so excuse me while I get this off of my chest.

It is NOT appropriate to check your phone in the following places: The Theatre, during a film (it's dark, and your phone glows- just don't), during a date (unless you are waiting for an emergency response, in which case just TELL the other person why) during any conversation with another human being really (unless again, you are waiting for something important, or you are done the conversation and you excuse yourself- just as you would at a cocktail party if you move to converse with someone else, it's the same concept!), during sex (this is NEVER okay), while driving (I HATE cars, and I HATE distracted drivers more than anything in the world. Just don't do it), while crossing the street (be safe people, I've seen this so many times), and last but not least, while you are watching a baby. (This may sound weird and extreme, but studies are starting to show that babies are having a more difficult time distinguishing facial expressions of emotion now that there is the "numb" face that their caregivers get when distracted by a cell phone or computer. I don't want a whole generation of people who cannot distinguish emotions and body language, how about you?)

Alright, I am done my rant. I hope that my young friend recognizes that her behaviour was not appropriate and learns from it, and I hope that we can all use a little common sense with the technology that has taken over our lives. As long as we do that, I think we can continue to hold on to social etiquette and interaction, along with technology. Technology is awesome and helpful, I don't want to put it down. Let's just work it into our social rulebook a little bit more.

Love and kindness all.