Part history lesson, part team building activity, a group of my co-workers and I went on a segway tour of the distillery. So, we found the place, and were greeted by two very friendly gentlemen who handed us wavers to fill out. Basically I signed my life away saying it wasn't their fault if I hit someone, something, ruined the segway (which I would have to replace for 6, 000$... yikes) or died.
Once that was done we got to pick out the fun helmets. I looked totally bad-ass. Mmmhmm.
Next we were brought outside and given basic instructions on the rules and then were given one on one instructions on the segway itself. Now, I was totally excited and ready up until the moment when I had to step on the thing, and then I started to feel nervous. I got on it and I instantly started to wobble, and panic ensued. I tried to not think too hard and to follow his directions, and slowly but surely I started to get the hang of it.
I have to stop here to mention that the main tour guide/ instructor was quite a character. When he first opened his mouth to talk, I almost burst out laughing as this extreme surfer-dude accent and vocabulary came out of his mouth. He sounded exactly like the turtle from finding nemo. No exaggeration. From thence forward, he shall be known as "surfer tour guide."
Alright, so the time came for all of us to hop on our segways (mine was nicknamed Goldie Hawn after its' lovely gold frame...) and we were off, single file, on a journey through the distillery. The first leg was a little rocky, getting used to riding on brick, but shortly after that I unlocked my knees and basically stopped thinking and just did it. It was fantastic!!
So... what did I learn about the history of the distillery? There were a lot of drunk Canadians in the 1820's and 30's, based on the fact that they thought the best way to counter-act cholera (that they believed came from drinking the polluted water) was to drink whiskey and beer instead. So much so, that they even developed a beer for babies to drink to keep them from dying. Crazy.
Gooderham and worts were the two brothers (in law) that developed the distilleries and manufactured beer and then the first Canadian rye whiskey in Canada, and they were a messed up family. Worts threw himself to his death off of their windmill after his wife died of childbirth and he couldn't raise the 5 children he had. The children were adopted by Gooderham, who then put one of the Wort sons in charge of brewing (since he didn't have a clue how to do it himself.) I should mention that Wort Jr was 16 at the time, and in charge of a company that brewed millions' of tons of alcohol a year. (He had also gone to university at age 13.. so he was just a little ahead of the game, or as surfer tour guide said "the Doogie Howser of alcohol. )
And there was a big explosion, and bla bla bla. Anyway, that was the most entertaining part of the history lesson. We continued to zoom around and at one point turned a corner when one of our teammates went straight and could not stop. He just kept turning around saying "I can't stop, I can't.." and surfer tour guide went to his rescue. A couple of our teammates were saying "ao river" as he went drifting away, I didn't get it, it's a "Portlandia" thing. He was brought back on track, and other than that one occurrence, we all made it through in one piece, and I had a blast!
The biggest reflection I have from the segway ride was like so many things in life, when I stopped thinking, I had no problems. The key to successfully driving one was to train your body what it has to do to move in different ways, and then to stop thinking about it. Once I stopped thinking about it, I could trust that my body knew what to do, and it did! Only when I started to worry that I was going to lose control did I ever feel shaky. Oh so true for so many parts of life! If we could just turn our brain off (particularly of worry) everything would turn out just fine.
Part two of my afternoon showed off a little of my crazy. I was headed to a training session for a job that I do occasionally. I will not say any more about it, as I am not allowed, but for this particular job training I was supposed to be wearing shorts, and completely forgot them at home. After I finished a couple of errand and looked at the time, I realized there was no way I could make it home to pick them up, so I was going to have to improvise.
On the way to the subway I looked out for possible stores that might sell shorts and was sadly disappointed until I saw it: Dollarama! The store that has everything! I went in with spirits high and began my journey. They didn't sell shorts. However: They did sell footless tights for ladies, and boxer briefs for men. I grabbed a pair of both and headed to the cash register.
It was at that moment that I realized that I would have to bare my legs in shorts... and I had not shaved my legs in.... well a very long time. It's winter, it's just not that necessary. In a panic I grabbed a set of razors and a bottle of lotion and then went to the checkout with all of my items. Okay.
On my continued journey towards the subway I again searched for some kind of store that would have a bathroom I could use, and came across a country time. I went in, bought a tea and then quickly asked where the bathrooms were located. Just as she was handing me my tea I had a brilliant plan and asked her if she had a pair of scissors I could borrow for a minute. Reluctantly she agreed, and off I went.
So in the bathroom I got to work. I cut the legs off of the tights and put them on. They were fairly see-through, so I ripped the tags off of the mens' underwear and put them on top. Perfect! Now, at this point there was a lady in the other stall, who was just heading out. I decided to wait until she left to start item number two. Okay, she was gone. I whipped out the razors, lathered up my legs and braced myself against the bathroom stall door as I began to shave my legs. I worked quickly, but carefully (they were cheap razors, and I didn't want any nasty cuts.) Before long, voila. smooth as buddah.
I put my pants on top of my "shorts" and headed onto the subway and on my way. (After returning the scissors to a very confused lady.)
I am happy to report that I arrived on time, and was very confident with my smooth legs and "shorts."
Love and kindness all.
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