We are now less than one month away from the big burlesque day!! What an exciting and scary thought!!!
As the journey into burlesque continues, the four of us of Theatre Inamorata decided to hire a burlesque coach to give us an introductory lesson into the world of burlesque. This, in retrospect, was a very, very smart idea. Here is the main thing that I learned: I have a LOT to learn!!
It was a fabulous session, starting off with some history, tips, and basics to planning a routine. We then got on our feet, and geared up in our feather boas and high heels, and we started to learn some basic walks. It was at this point, as I was watching myself prance effortfully in the crack between the dance mirrors, that I realized I have had very few instances in my life where I took myself seriously when I was trying to be "sexy." I started to feel that this could be a little bit more difficult than I thought. As I tried to emulate the amazing ease and skill of our sexy instructor, I had a little trouble not tripping over my own high-heeled feet. After a few more tries, I looked a little bit graceful, and slightly stylish, but I think it would be a stretch to say in the sexy realm.
So what is so different between the sexy ladies that I have had the pleasure of watching, and me? First, I think talent is definitely important, so that means taking the time to really learn the moves, and practice, practice, practice. Second, I'd say playing the part, really committing to the character I'm playing, and choosing a scenario that allows me to DO something (since nothing makes me more nervous, as an actor, than being on stage without knowing what to do). Lastly, and most importantly, CONFIDENCE! I think it is clear that this is the main hurdle I'm dealing with here. I am very good at making fun of myself, at playing at sexy, knowing it is a joke, but I need to practice having confidence that I am sexy. That I can be sexy, and it doesn't have to be a joke.
So, as my next weekly goal, leading up to this exciting event, I need to practice feeling confident, and sexy. I don't know exactly how I'm going to accomplish this yet, but I will come up with a few ideas. I'll report back, of course.
The rest of the lesson was hilarious as we all attempted to fling various pieces of clothing sexily throughout the room, and learned little tricks of the trade along the way. I think I have a knack for shoe flinging, so y'all better watch out!
In terms of progress on the body image front, I hit one little snag: at the lesson I learned that using garter belts may be a little bit too difficult at this virginal point of my burlesquing... which ruined my little plan of covering up the one part of my body I am nervous about showing- my stomach. It is pretty funny to me that I would rather show my boobs, my butt, and more... before I would ever think of showing my stomach. I guess we all have our thing! In my head, I thought that I could cleverly hide my belly by wearing a high-wasted garter belt, and just not take it off. Foiled! After a consoling chat with one of my lovely company members, I was given a choice: I can either find some clever way to hide that belly that I am so embarrassed by, or I can show it proudly as part of the beautiful woman I am. I am really hoping I can brave it enough to accomplish number two. I was also told to do a little strip tease for myself... and no laughing... so that's what I am about to do! Wish me luck!
Love and kindness all.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Confessions of a virgin Burlesque-er part 1
My beautiful Theatre company ladies and I came up with the idea to do a burlesque show for our second fundraising venture. It was a super exciting and intriguing idea that interests people from MANY walks of life, which is a great solution to finding people to come from outside of the Theatre community. Wooowhooo!
I have decided to keep a mini-series within my blog about the whole burlesque-prepping and burlesque-performing experience. I have a feeling it could get a little bumpy!
Speaking of bumps...I had a huge realization moment earlier this week that the fundraiser is now just over a month away, and I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO BE TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!! This of course brought on a whole wave of anxiety. Not to say that I didn't logically know this information before, but it is slowly becoming more and more of a reality. Granted, this was my choice, and no one is pushing me to perform, so it is voluntary anxiety, if you will.
This wave of anxiety is that I am not completely thrilled with what my body looks like at this point in time. Not to say that I am ever really truly satisfied, but I haven't been getting to the gym at all lately, and my eating habits have been on the mediocre side. So, I of course started some crazy plans to eat nothing but apples and lemon water and go to the gym every day until the dreaded 9th day of June.
After the wave of anxiety subsided, and I was thinking ever-so-slightly with clarity, I started to think about more of the reasons for why we decided to do this fundraiser in the first place: women, body image, sexuality, sexual desire, woman as objects of sexual desire, women being in control of their sexuality and how they are seen as a sexual being, and the plethora of other subjects that are being explored through this genre. To me, it comes down to a celebration of the female body, in all of its' glory, and embracing our own female sexuality. I love this idea!
Of course, that means acceptance of our bodies with all of their "flaws" (as I for one seem to always be looking for.) Really though, accepting that perfection does not equal sexy. (In my skewed judgement meaning Skinny with no flab is not the only "sexy" or a better "sexy") I can be a sexual being, I can appear sexy with a little bit of extra tummy, and jiggly thighs. I can embrace my sexuality without feeling I am inferior. So, THIS IS THE GOAL!
With that in mind, I have started to try to put together costume ideas, as I need an idea of what I am wearing before I can cement my routine down. And I am fairly certain I would like to explore the fun of garter belts... along with other goodies, but I've decided to make the garter belt the centre of my ensemble. Thus begins the garter belt search.
This led me to my first experience in an upscale lingerie store. I had some time to kill before a meeting downtown, so I popped into a teeny tiny little fancy-looking boutique with a rainbow of lace panties on display on manikins outside. Right away I was greeted by a slightly skeptical grin on the mouth of an older lady who crept our from behind the counter, and in an indistinguishable European accent asked "Is there something you want to look at?" I was suddenly transported to being 13 again and watching a snickering teenage boy ring through the tampons that I was hiding between 2 boxes of kleenex on the grocery belt at shoppers drug mart. After that embarrassment surpassed, I reminded myself that I am a thirty year old woman, despite my appearance, and I can shop for lingerie if I want to. Damn it. So I caught my breath and with my most drawn-up confidence, and with a stiff attempt at casualness, asked "Yes, what do you have for garter belts, please?"
She did not seem surprised, as I was watching her face for any sign of it, but instead, she sighed and said "I only have a couple of kinds, here. This one is very precious lace, imported." It was gorgeous. I didn't think I would have that reaction to a garter belt, but it was a mix of cream and light blue with dainty pink lace. I imagined a fairytale princess would have wore something similar if Disney wasn't G-rated. The other styles were too small, so I focused on this one, until I flipped over the price tag in my hand and saw that it was "on sale" for 125$!!! Ya, there's no way that was going to happen.
I pretended to be thinking about it, and put it down on the counter. I didn't want her to know that I was thrown by the price. Some weird pride in me wanted the strange lady to think that the price didn't phase me one bit, so I greased up my acting chops and pulled out my cell phone to check the time and fained (not too poorly if you ask me) that I was suddenly late for something important. "Oh, I have to go, would you be able to hold this for me until tomorrow?" I rushed with the words, to back up my hurried lie. "Yes, yes, no problem." She put the precious piece on the counter, and I silently wished it goodbye as she wrote down my name, and I thanked her and left.
I will be searching for something slightly on the lower-end, but all in all a good first step, I would say, to embracing this sexuality of mine!
Love and kindness all.
I have decided to keep a mini-series within my blog about the whole burlesque-prepping and burlesque-performing experience. I have a feeling it could get a little bumpy!
Speaking of bumps...I had a huge realization moment earlier this week that the fundraiser is now just over a month away, and I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO BE TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!! This of course brought on a whole wave of anxiety. Not to say that I didn't logically know this information before, but it is slowly becoming more and more of a reality. Granted, this was my choice, and no one is pushing me to perform, so it is voluntary anxiety, if you will.
This wave of anxiety is that I am not completely thrilled with what my body looks like at this point in time. Not to say that I am ever really truly satisfied, but I haven't been getting to the gym at all lately, and my eating habits have been on the mediocre side. So, I of course started some crazy plans to eat nothing but apples and lemon water and go to the gym every day until the dreaded 9th day of June.
After the wave of anxiety subsided, and I was thinking ever-so-slightly with clarity, I started to think about more of the reasons for why we decided to do this fundraiser in the first place: women, body image, sexuality, sexual desire, woman as objects of sexual desire, women being in control of their sexuality and how they are seen as a sexual being, and the plethora of other subjects that are being explored through this genre. To me, it comes down to a celebration of the female body, in all of its' glory, and embracing our own female sexuality. I love this idea!
Of course, that means acceptance of our bodies with all of their "flaws" (as I for one seem to always be looking for.) Really though, accepting that perfection does not equal sexy. (In my skewed judgement meaning Skinny with no flab is not the only "sexy" or a better "sexy") I can be a sexual being, I can appear sexy with a little bit of extra tummy, and jiggly thighs. I can embrace my sexuality without feeling I am inferior. So, THIS IS THE GOAL!
With that in mind, I have started to try to put together costume ideas, as I need an idea of what I am wearing before I can cement my routine down. And I am fairly certain I would like to explore the fun of garter belts... along with other goodies, but I've decided to make the garter belt the centre of my ensemble. Thus begins the garter belt search.
This led me to my first experience in an upscale lingerie store. I had some time to kill before a meeting downtown, so I popped into a teeny tiny little fancy-looking boutique with a rainbow of lace panties on display on manikins outside. Right away I was greeted by a slightly skeptical grin on the mouth of an older lady who crept our from behind the counter, and in an indistinguishable European accent asked "Is there something you want to look at?" I was suddenly transported to being 13 again and watching a snickering teenage boy ring through the tampons that I was hiding between 2 boxes of kleenex on the grocery belt at shoppers drug mart. After that embarrassment surpassed, I reminded myself that I am a thirty year old woman, despite my appearance, and I can shop for lingerie if I want to. Damn it. So I caught my breath and with my most drawn-up confidence, and with a stiff attempt at casualness, asked "Yes, what do you have for garter belts, please?"
She did not seem surprised, as I was watching her face for any sign of it, but instead, she sighed and said "I only have a couple of kinds, here. This one is very precious lace, imported." It was gorgeous. I didn't think I would have that reaction to a garter belt, but it was a mix of cream and light blue with dainty pink lace. I imagined a fairytale princess would have wore something similar if Disney wasn't G-rated. The other styles were too small, so I focused on this one, until I flipped over the price tag in my hand and saw that it was "on sale" for 125$!!! Ya, there's no way that was going to happen.
I pretended to be thinking about it, and put it down on the counter. I didn't want her to know that I was thrown by the price. Some weird pride in me wanted the strange lady to think that the price didn't phase me one bit, so I greased up my acting chops and pulled out my cell phone to check the time and fained (not too poorly if you ask me) that I was suddenly late for something important. "Oh, I have to go, would you be able to hold this for me until tomorrow?" I rushed with the words, to back up my hurried lie. "Yes, yes, no problem." She put the precious piece on the counter, and I silently wished it goodbye as she wrote down my name, and I thanked her and left.
I will be searching for something slightly on the lower-end, but all in all a good first step, I would say, to embracing this sexuality of mine!
Love and kindness all.
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