Fair enough.
I had lot's of good reasons, hundreds of justifications, a lot of wonderful support either way. Until a lovely friend of mine asked me this question: Have you done everything you can to change it?
At first I wanted to punch him in the neck. (That tends to be my usual thought reaction to people hitting a nerve, although I have yet to actually act on the impulse... thank goodness) After I took a breath, I realized that I absolutely had not. I argued that no one could do EVERYTHING they possibly could, and that not everything can change... but as I heard these arguments slip through my mouth, I knew that I had nothing. No answer except: No.
So, Toronto, here's to giving it a real try. A trial of true change, and acceptance. A trial of finding my love for this wonderful city in every way I can. With the perfect advice from my friend, I wrote a resentment list about Toronto. A list of everything I hate about it, and then a chance to see what I can do to change it. I HIGHLY recommend this as a problem-solving strategy by the way. It takes out the heated emotions and allows me to see where I'm being completely petty.
For example: I wrote that the people here are all egotistical and brash. So, in seeing that in writing, I see that it may be just a tad of a generalization ;) I mean, is it true that everyone who lives in "friendly Manitoba" is a welcoming beacon of sunshine? Obviously I know from experience this is not true.
Yes, people in TO tend to be a little bit more focused, and there are a lot of people rushing to get from place to place (hell, I fall into that category half of the time) but it does not mean they are bad or mean or sociopathic people. Being a different personality from me does not make someone bad. You'd think that is something I would have learned from all of my years of sesame street and Mr. Rogers, but for some of us, it takes a little longer ;)
So, I brace myself with a good book and some music (in case someone is being too obnoxious for my taste) as I head out to the TTC (which, by the way, for all the complaints I hear, and may partake in on a daily basis, is a hell of a lot better that waiting in minus 40 for 20 minutes for a bus. ) I wait my 4-7 minutes underground for the subway, and I try to appreciate it.
Toronto: I don't know how long I'm going to live here, but for the time being, I'm going to try to appreciate you for all you are. Eat at your thousands of restaurants, go to your many music shows/ theatre events/ movies playing at any time of the day, take your classes with your hundreds of well-trained and wonderfully talented people, and enjoy myself.
Love and kindness all.
